But professor, I paid the bloody Hogwarts tuition! It was for privacy!
Oh Hermione. Everyone’s favorite muggle Emma Watson is the latest high-profiler to be named in the Panama Papers leak. Its one thing to see Vladimir Putin and David Cameron fingered as owners of offshore companies for tax evasive purposes(sort of comes with the package). The International Consortium of Investigative Journalists(ICIJ) unleashed a whole different basilisk from their Chamber of Secrets when they shattered the hearts of thousands of Harry Potter fans that rave over every last whim of the 26 year-old actress/social activist/total-babe. Apparently this outspoken young lady has adopted the MO from the likes of Arab royalty and Simon Cowell(tax is abso~lutely dreadful) as she added illicit financial activities to her antics.
The brutally stunning Ms.Watson has been confirmed as the beneficiary in an offshore company based in the British Virgin Islands. Though the fact that owning shares in an offshore company or creating an offshore trust isn’t illegal in and of itself, given that many Panama Papers A-listers have used such entities to hide assets from the IRS(insert Vader’s death-march theme song) for the purpose of evading taxation and gaining other monetary advantages, the obliviate spell would come in very handy for Watson at this point.
Watson’s spokesperson issued a statement that “Emma receives absolutely no tax or monetary advantages from this offshore company whatsoever – only privacy.” As an avid fan, I sincerely hope that this is the case and Emma just got a wee bit paranoid over her British bankers taking selfies with her $60mil bank statement. Or was she caught dipping both hands into Mrs.Weasley’s stash of Chocolate Frogs in an attempt to witch(no pun intended) her way out of paying up her due taxes?
There are three certainties in life. Death, aging and taxes. Though I understand that our 20% is no where similar to her 20%, this leak will undoubtedly turn out to be a taint on Emma’s career. With FC Barcelona players Messi, Neymar and Mascherano facing legal scrutiny from the basis of the leaks and countless other billionaires going sleepless over who’s next in the Panama hit-list, it seems that Emma too will face a series of investigations on the legality of her offshore interests.
The do-it-all model, actress, feminist and philanthropist has hexed her way into the hearts of millions of potter-heads with her beauty and grace. But as of today, her seamless image is on the brink of being subject to the Avada Kedavra curse. With hopes that our stars observe the acumen of maintaining financial transparency, 40 points chucked from Gryffindor.